Is He The One?

I’ve been thinking about the Britney-K. Fed divorce (I know, I know…aren’t there worthier issues to be thinking about, like world peace and the war in Iraq and poverty?) and it occurred to me that a lot of women like Britney don’t understand a fundamental difference between the men you date and the men you marry. Kevin Federline was so obviously a man you date. He was a backup dancer with two kids already and he never married his baby-mama. What does that tell you?

And it’s not just celebrities who don’t get it. Regular women are just as bad. They get sucked in by the fun, good-looking guys who want to fool around and instead, they fool themselves into thinking that they can change these guys. They think they can turn the date guys into marriage men. Hello? You can’t change them because they don’t want to be changed. If you were a guy being chased by women, why would you settle down? I’ve never been in that situation, honestly, but I can imagine it.

My sister Lucie falls into this category. I don’t know how many guys she’s thought were “the one.” They never are. They don’t want to be. I wasn’t even dating them and I could see that. It was like Lucie was blind or something. And no matter how many times I tried to help her by pointing out certain guys just wanted to fool around, she wouldn’t listen.

So for all the women like Britney and my sister, here are two separate lists to help you out: men who you date and men who you marry. Pay attention, Lucie!

Top 3.5 Movie Stars I’d Like to Date

1. Orlando Bloom
2. Leo DiCaprio
3. Jude Law
3.5 Vince Vaughn

Top 3.5 Movie Stars I’d Like to Marry

1. Ashton Kutcher
2. Matt Damon
3. Will Smith
3.5 Jack Black

See the difference? The first list is a bunch of guys who travel all over the world, who are constantly being hit on by women. They probably get invited to parties and hotel rooms by women they never met – and they go! They’re fun and some of them are funny and they drink a lot and party until the sun comes up and who are you to tell them to stop? These are not the men who settle down.

The second list are the men who have settled down. They actually married their girlfriends when they got them pregnant. This list is actually very long. I could add Seal and Heath Ledger and Ben Affleck – all great-looking guys who did the right thing for the women they loved. And now they’re happy dads. I don’t actually understand the whole Ashton-Demi thing but good for them. I hope they last forever.

I’m not perfect, okay, and it’s entirely likely I will have a boyfriend at some point that I think is THE ONE for me but who will turn out to be completely wrong. I just hope I don’t do anything stupid with him before I figure that out.

More on this later.