B- is For Blog

The grades are in. And (drumroll, please)…

Mega Girl gets a B-!

Evelyn told me she liked my lists and my blog topics because they aren’t typical. Plus, only a small space was dedicated to shopping, she said, and even that was just talk ABOUT shopping, the concept of shopping, not the purchasing of things itself.

Well, all right.

There was room for improvement, of course. My posts are too long and too infrequent. I need to post shorter and more often.

Yeah, see, did she NOT read the first couple of posts? How can I blog more than once a week? I don’t have a computer. Erg. I guess I’m going to have to spend more time at the computer lab or at Reggie’s if I want to do that.

Okay. I’ll try. For second semester, I will try.

In the meantime, I leave you with a special Christmas Meta List:

Top 3.5 Ornaments on My Christmas Tree

1. Flight Attendant Barbie
2. Homer Simpson
3. Origami Stars
3.5 Gold-Colored Macaroni Angel

When I was six, I asked Lucie for a Barbie doll (remember, she had told me there was no Santa the year before) and this is what I got: a mini-Barbie ornament that I couldn’t do anything with. I couldn’t swap her clothes or change her shoes or braid her hair. Plus she was a flight attendant which meant that her hands were forever in that two-fingered salute they do when they show people where the exits are before the plane takes off (not that I would know from personal experience, since I have never been on a plane – yes, it’s true!). Sounds like a stupid present, right? Well, it was for years but when I was about 10, Lucie accidentally crushed the star we had so I put Barbie on top instead. She looked awesome! Now, she is on the top of the tree every year. She looks especially good because our tree is always of the Charlie Brown variety.

My second favorite ornament is Homer. You press a button under his butt and he says “D’oh!” Some of my favorite television shows are Simpsons episodes. I wish Itchy and Scratchy was a real show, that’s how much I love the Simpsons. I read about the real Simpsons house which is, I think, near Vegas or something. A full-scale house with all the furnishings and landscaping and backyard. I can’t remember if it had a pink car but that would be pretty amazing. I wonder if anyone lives in it. I think it was a prize for a contest. I don’t know. I guess I didn’t read that article very closely, did I?

The origami stars are a set of 3 white paper stars Lucie and I got in Chinatown a couple of summers ago when we were bored and Lucie decided she wanted to try “real” Chinese food. I was like, um, I don’t think this is any different than the Chinese place at the Supercuts strip mall but whatever, it was kind of a fun trip. We had lo mein and wonton soup which was way spicier than our place makes it. The wontons were really fat and chewy and there were little strips of fried pork floating in it. We stuffed ourselves for practically no money, which meant we had a few bucks left over for a souvenir so we got the origami stars. I don’t think they are meant to be Christmas ornaments because aren’t the Chinese Buddhists? I mean, do they celebrate Christmas? I don’t think so. But the stars were so pretty, all folded like that and hung on little gold strings. We knew they would be perfect for the tree. We usually put them right under Barbie.

Honorable mention goes to the macaroni angel I made in first grade. Does every person in the entire world make one of these? I swear to god they do. For the two people who have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s what you do: cut a sheet of construction paper into the shape of an angel. Punch a hole in the top. Glue pieces of pasta on it – different shapes work well for different parts of the angel. Then spray paint it gold. Do this part outside or else you might get a headache from the vapors. When it’s dry, string a piece of yarn or ribbon through the hole. Voila! Macaroni angel. I have no idea why Lucie keeps this old thing. It’s not like I couldn’t make something better now. But it gets a place on the list because of Lucie.

So that’s the Christmas list. I hope everyone out in the ether has a great holiday and really, that’s just you, Reggie, since you’re probably the only one reading this.

Merry Christmas.