Friends 'n' Stuff

The friend thing is important to me. Of course, writing “the friend thing” makes me sound like I DON’T care about friends. Let me start again…

I care about having friends. I really want to have friends. And I want to be good to my friends. It’s just that I have a hard time keeping them. We’ve been here in RC for 2 years which is so weird to me. Usually by now, I would be two towns past this and Reggie would have long forgotten about me and I would have moved on to other kids in other schools. So trying to be a good friend to her wouldn’t even be an issue.

I’m not trying to make excuses for myself! If I’m a bad friend, that’s my fault, not anyone else’s. I should make more of an effort to stay in touch, to write or call. But Lucie and I never have extra money for things like cell phones or internet access so…

No, I’m not blaming Lucie either. Well, maybe a little. I think she could be working harder to stay in the same job, to get promoted and earn more money so we can afford things other people have - just regular things too, not plasma screen televisions or Blackberrys. Or hell, just do a decent enough job so we can stay IN ONE PLACE and not move all over. She could try harder to show up at work on time on a regular basis and to not call in sick just because she has her period. She could stop talking on the phone when she’s on the job and surfing the web when she should be working.

But ultimately this has nothing to do with me and my friends. That’s my own deal.

So Reg, I apologize if I haven’t been a great friend lately. I promise to be better.

I promise to TRY to be better.

I’m Not That Kind of Girl

Have I been neglecting my friends? Have I? You can tell me. Reggie thinks I’ve been avoiding her, that I’ve been hanging around T too much - in the halls and at lunch and after school - and that he’s all I talk about and really, that’s not true at all. I would never ditch my friends for a guy. I’m not that kind of girl.

I can’t help it if I want to talk about him, though, can I? He’s my first real guy friend…not boyfriend, not really. We haven’t ever had a full-on makeout session and I would hardly call it dating since our dates are more like him saying, hey, want to get together Saturday and me saying, yeah, okay.

Maybe I haven’t been the best friend. I should probably hang out with Reg more. And I should probably ask her more about what she’s doing, about her classes. She told me her parents were going to buy her a brand new car this summer if she got good grades. I think that’s what happens when you’re the only girl in the family and all your brothers are kind of lame in the grades department. It doesn’t take much to look better than them. But good for her, getting a new car. Maybe she and I can go car shopping one of these days.

You want to do that, Reg? Just the two of us?

T, POTC3 and Me

Top 3.5 Things I Love About Long Weekends

1. An extra day to sleep late
2. An extra night to stay up late
3. An extra morning for a special breakfast
3.5 An extra afternoon to meet someone for a movie

If you think I’m going to talk about 1, 2 or 3, you don’t know me very well.

Actually, number 3 on the list is a lot of fun. On holiday mornings, I usually get up earlier than Lucie (even if I do number 1, which is sleep in a little more) and start fixing a special breakfast for both of us. I have a special dish I make that most people call French Toast. You know, you dip bread in egg and milk and fry it up and then pour syrup all over it with lots of butter? Yummy, yummy! I can’t wait! We love it so much that we sometimes have it for dinner. Okay, so I make a whole bunch of that and brew up some coffee and if we have fruit around, I might slice some berries or bananas and put them on the side. Never on the top - Lucie hates when her fruit is touched by the syrup. She likes to dip the fruit into the syrup herself. Whatever. It’s an awesome meal and we never have time for it during regular weekdays and most of the weekends either. I don’t know why we don’t do it more on the weekends. We could cook up bacon or sausage or pancakes or waffles. We should do that more.

Luce, let’s do that more.

Anyway, on to number 3.5. Matinee with T! He had some sort of family thing last night - not that we would have gotten together because it’s not dating. We’re just friends who have kissed a few times. That’s all. You kiss your friends, don’t you? On the lips?

So T said, hey, are you doing anything on Monday afternoon and I said no, why, and he said, let’s go to a matinee of POTC3 since it’s impossible to get into on an opening weekend night anyway and I was like, yeah, sure, that’s fine and he gave me this huge grin like he was really glad I said yes so that’s what I’m doing tomorrow.

I love long weekends.

Idol/Idle Talk

And the winner is…I don’t care actually. It’s Jordin, which was, you know, predictable and you know, whatever. I'm psyched for her and she's awesome and beautiful and very very talented and yes, I did watch on Tuesday night even though I said I wouldn't. So Jordin is the idol but Blake and everyone else with any bit of talent will get recording contracts. Of course they will! They’ll do the Idol tour with the top ten and then they will each go off and have careers of their own. Blake, if he doesn’t have a deal, now, will get one in seconds!

Part of me wants to see the tour…don’t you?

Lucie said it reminds her of Up With People. I never heard of that so I had to look it up. For you… Up With People.

And how stupid was I yesterday? No sunscreen? What an idiot! I kept my hair up in a ponytail since it was so stinkin’ hot but I didn’t put anything on - and no hat either - so the back of my neck and my ears are bright red! Ouch! What was I thinking?

We had way too much fun for it to be called class. Everyone split up and we took a section to study. Whatever was in your little 4 x 4 area was what you researched. T had his brother’s digital camera - totally nice of him to loan it to us - and I kept notes. But the best part was when we broke for lunch. We didn’t have to sit in a group, we could stay with our partners so me and T found a little shaded patch not far from our study area and we had a little picnic. It was kind of romantic. We had cold Cokes and I made peanut butter sandwiches and T brought Doritos and cookies. And we just talked about you know, everything. Movies and TV and some stuff he saw on YouTube that he wants to show me. He told me about his brother and how he ran away when he was T’s age because he wanted to join the army but thank god he was too young so they sent him back home. T said this was right at the beginning of the war in Iraq and his brother was all fired up to fight but now that he’s old enough to join, he’s changed his mind, also thank god because T would worry about him constantly if he was over there.

Stuff like that.

And then we finished up the lab and the teacher herded us onto the bus and gave us ice cold popsicles for the ride home. I put mine right on my neck.

The Neverending Class

I never thought I’d say this but…I don’t want school to end! I mean, yeah, of course I don’t want to go to English and Math and French anymore but I do want to go to Earth Science. We start the last lab this week and T and I are partners (little thrill!). We have a half-day field trip tomorrow where we go out to the foot of the mountains and catalog all the flowers and insects and animals - flora and fauna as they say in the biz. We take pictures and notes and then back home, we upload everything and create a notebook.

We don’t HAVE to take pictures if we don’t have a digital camera although we’re pretty much expected to and hello? I don’t. Once again, the haves rule the have-nots. Actually the haves pretty much forget the have-nots haven’t anything. I guess they just assume that in a partnership, at least one person will have access to a camera. The option is using a regular camera or cutting and pasting pictures from on-line. Which assumes AGAIN that you have access to the internet and boy am I tired of that. We don’t have it at my house which means we have to go to the library, the computer lab or in my case, T’s house.

Hmmm…maybe it’s not so bad that I don’t have internet access at home.

What America Really Watches

Top 3.5 YouTube Clips Right This Second

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULlsVcW5bRI Husky & Kitten
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJVoslo_xdM - Water - Blue King Brown
3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNr4dJgbmK0 - Amores Payosas
3.5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5XVeENmLMk - Fujiya & Miyagi Ankle Injuries

The first one is a cute little kitten playing with a big Husky. The second is a video for a blues guitarist. The third is a short film in Spanish that takes place in NYC. And the fourth is a music video for a techno band.

This is what we entertain ourselves with. This is America.

This is why Melinda Doolittle did not win Idol.

Okay, I’m a little bitter. I still think she was robbed of her crown. I’d like to believe American voters were being altruistic and that they knew she would be fine but that Blake needed a boost. I told Aaron that when he called yesterday and he laughed and said, “Yeah, that’s what happened in the 2000 election.”

I didn’t get the joke.

What's Wrong With America?

First of all: today is like, five people’s birthdays that I know. So Happy Happy to all of you and you know who you are! I’m not getting you any presents so enjoy the virtual congrats.

But more important: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH AMERICA?

How could you send Melinda home? You’re keeping beatbox boy? Just because he’s cute? Who’s voting for this guy? It’s like Sanjaya all over again. I mean, seriously. The guy is NOT a singer. He has sort of a thin voice and sings every song the same way.

Melinda was THE best singer in the competition. Arguably the best Idol singer ever. And she’s number 3?? I can’t believe she didn’t even make it to the final two. And did you hear the crowd reaction? Some boos but a lot of very slow applause like people were thinking, “This can’t be happening. This must be another of the producer’s lame jokes and soon Ryan will call her back and say it was a mistake and everything can go on as it should have.”

But he didn’t. And Simon just covered his head with his hands.

The only good thing is you know she has a record deal waiting for her. She will be inundated with phone calls this morning and last night and she’ll be bigger than anyone coming out of this contest.

So now it has to be Jordin. She’s beautiful and talented and sweet and has SO much potential, much more potential than any of the previous idols, except maybe Kelly Clarkson.

Aside: I gotta give props to Kelly Clarkson. I never thought she was anything special but she’s come a long way from the corn-fed ingénue of season 1. I wish she wouldn’t distance herself so much from the show that gave her her start but oh well, I guess that’s what people do and I’m guessing it’s probably her agents and managers telling her that. She is probably surrounded by people who tell her what to do and if any of them thought she was ruining her career by dissing Idol, they would tell her that too.

I’m not watching next week. I refuse. “Lost” is on for 2 hours so I will watch that instead, even though I’m a little confused by what’s going on on that island.

Okay, one more time…did you people NOT see Melinda kick ass Tina-style? You must not have because otherwise you would not have made the crappy decision you did.

Happy 2nd Anniversary!

Next week will be my and Lucie’s two year anniversary in RC, although not in this apartment. When we first moved here, it was the end of seventh grade (can you believe she made us move like, a month before the year was over?). She had gotten a job answering phones for an insurance company in an industrial park not far from the freeway. It was the exact definition of “desolate.” The office building looked like a giant metal shed, with a gravel parking lot that Lucie used to break her heels on until she got smart and wore sneakers in the car and changed in the ladies room.

Our first place was one room, a studio apartment in this dingy complex that had a metal railing that chipped black paint onto your hands whenever you touched it. Everyone had a dog, except us, and they would all start barking at the same time if you walked by. It was like a domino effect: one would start and then the next and the next and the next and soon, all you could hear was a hundred dogs woofing it up for the next twenty minutes. Then they would calm down for a while until the next person walked by.

And the whole complex smelled like chlorine. This was probably because there was a crappy pool in the middle of the place that no one ever used because it was cracked all over and because there was a rumor that some kid drowned in it one night. Still, they treated it with chlorine anyway, every single day.

We left after five months, one month after I started eighth grade (can’t we ever get it straight?), and moved into this place, where it’s way cleaner and where only five people have dogs and there’s no pool.

You might not think our place is so great but compared to where we were, it’s a frickin’ mansion. I sometimes think you have to live pretty crappily to appreciate when you have it good.

Happy Anniversary, Luce!

Alfred Hitchcock Presents...

Top 3.5 Interesting Facts About Alfred Hitchcock

1. Someone drinks brandy in every one of his films
2. He appeared in a scene in every one of his films
3. Staircases figured prominently in most of his films
3.5 He loved the number 7 and would include it (or numbers that added up to it) in his films

One of the funnest things to do with a Hitchcock movie is to watch for his cameo appearance. He usually walks through a crowd or is sitting on a train. He was a big fat bald guy and he always wore a suit.

Want to know another fun thing? NOT watching a Hitchcock movie when it’s on. And don’t be crude, T and I didn’t make out or anything like. This was at my house, after all, which is a teeny tiny apartment and Lucie did NOT go out. She hung out in the kitchen all night while T was here. Which was fine. I mean, it wasn’t like she was in the living room with us or anything and she did give us some space. And as long as I’m being completely honest, I felt safer having her there. Not that T would have done anything wrong but I mean, geez, I certainly don’t know what I’m doing!

What I discovered about T is that, away from school, he loves to talk. He talked constantly through the movies, telling me all about the actors and the camera work and the editing and how Hitchcock drew out every little thing before he started shooting. It was pretty amazing how much stuff he knows. T said he wants to go to film school in LA which I think is a great idea. He can meet all sorts of famous people there and he can learn all about movies and stuff. I was even thinking I might go to LA. Not for college or anything since we can’t afford it but maybe I could go there after graduation and get a job. I have no idea what I would do but there have to be loads of jobs in a city like that.

Anyway, that’s years away so I don’t really need to be worried yet.

And I did get a good night kiss when T’s brother came to pick him up. I won’t be gross and tell you all the gory details. It was sweet and gentle and not all grope-y. I mean, T kept his hands to himself (they were holding his movies) and sort of leaned in and our lips just…touched. It was very natural, I must say, like it was destined to happen. It wasn’t awkward at all.

That’s how you know a thing is right, right? When you’re not nervous. That’s what my friend Jen told me a long time ago. If you’re anxious and worried, then it’s not right and you shouldn’t do it. She is so awesome and smart so I would totally believe her on this.

The Final Three Does NOT Include LaKisha?

Okay, first of all, what is up with America? LaKisha is gone but Blake stays? No effin’ way, as T likes to say. I thought she was awesome singing Stayin’ Alive and who cares what it USED to sound like? That was 30 years ago! It’s what she can make it sound like NOW.

And don’t tell me that’s what Blake is doing - Blake is just not singing. It’s a singing competition, not a performing one and I’m sorry but Blake cannot dance at all. He was just waving his arms around like he was at a Dodgers game.

And how about that that dress she wore, the green one? It totally thinned her out. She has come a very long way from what she started out as. Remember her from the auditions with her little girl crying for her? She was so quiet and shy and now look at her. She commands the stage. She stares straight into the camera. She kisses Simon!

I know Simon was being hard on her because she is so good - just like he was doing with Melinda - but really, she was so far and away better than Blake on Tuesday.

Blake will be gone next week, that’s for sure. And then it will be just Jordin and Melinda duking it out and making stupid Ford commercials. I’m sorry but those things are lame. And did you hear Jordin say she has to do 3 hours of schoolwork a day? She should just be singing. Oh well, I think my heart is still set on Melinda. I love her story as a former backup singer finally making it to the big time.

[Sigh…]

I hate the end of Idol season…it’s such a letdown.

Earth Science and Babies on My Mind

This is our last week of geology lab. :(

But I think T and I will be partners for the last project of the year, the desert floor lab. :)

This is, from what Reggie has told me, the easiest project ever at the high school. It’s sort of the equivalent of a field trip. We partner up (calling T!) and then we are bused out of town to the desert near the mountains. Each team gets a list of flora and fauna we have to find and photograph. Then we come back to school and put them together on the computer in a booklet kind of thing, with captions and descriptions and so on. Everyone has always gotten an A, according to Reg.

Sweeeeet.

I can’t help it, though, I have Lucie on my mind. I keep wondering if she told Aaron she might be pregnant and if Aaron was staying away because he didn’t want to be a father or whatever. Or maybe he does and she doesn’t? He is pretty old, way older than Lucie. I don’t think he’s ever been married. Maybe he wants a kid now before it’s too late. I mean, it’s not too late for Luce…she has years of babies if she wants one. Or she could be like Madonna or Angelina and adopt them from an orphanage in another country if she doesn’t want to get fat.

I wonder if I should ask Lucie.

JA, what should I do? Think I need to write another letter to you - and soon…

Two Conversations About One Thing

Two very important conversations happened this weekend. One went like this:

“Hey Meg, it’s T.”

“Hey T.”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing much.”

(We can skip the boring stuff which went on for like, five minutes.)

“So you want me to bring my movies over tonight?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Okay, what time?”

“Like, 7?”

“You want to eat first?”

“Uh, okay.”

“How about we meet at Jackie’s at 6?”

Jackie’s is this diner kind of place about ½ a mile from my house. I can walk there from here which means T’s brother doesn’t have to give us a lift. Sweet.

“Perf. See you then.”

“See ya.”

Not too shabby, eh?

Important Conversation #2:

“Uh, Luce. Can we talk?”

“I was just about to take a shower.” Heavy sigh.

“You can shower later.”

More sighs. “What is it?”

“I, uh, found something in the trash last week.”

“A mouse? I told you we just have to put traps out but you don’t want to kill them.”

“That’s not it, Luce. I found a, uh, box for a, uh, pregnancy test.”

“Okay.”

“Is it…was it yours?” I can’t look at her at this point so I have no idea what she’s doing.

“Yes.”

Oh god! My breath catches in my throat. “And?”

“And nothing. It was negative.”

Thank freaking god! I smile and finally look at her and she looks almost sad. “Isn’t that good, Luce? You don’t want a baby, do you?”

“Of course not,” she scowls. Then she goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. While I’m standing there wondering, wtf, I hear the shower turn on.

Could she have been disappointed? I don’t get it. We have no money, no permanent place to live. She has a crappy job and no husband and even if she did marry Aaron, he’s a musician! It’s one thing for them to get married and live the artist’s life (with me) but quite another to have a child too. Kids need so much crap. They need a backyard for their toys and they grow fast and eat a lot and have to go to the doctor all the time. A kid is just not the right thing for my sister. I can’t believe she’d think otherwise.

Am I wrong about this?

Hey, What About That Date?

God, all this baby talk and I forgot to mention my awesome date with T. It was definitely a date. He asked me out. I said yes. We picked a time and place to go see the movie and then we went. I highly recommend “Disturbia.” Although I could be completely biased because I was sitting in the dark next to T for 2 hours. (heehee! I can’t believe it!)

Afterwards, we went to Jamba for smoothies (T doesn’t drink coffee! Blasphemy!). And we just sort of talked about stuff for almost two hours until the manager of Jamba came out and said they were closing and we had to leave. It was only 10:30! But T said he had to get home anyway so he called his brother to come pick us up (his older brother J drove us and then went off to Circuit City with his girlfriend). J’s girlfriend is really nice and sweet and she treated me like I was, you know, T’s girlfriend. That was cool.

And then, while we were driving home, T sort of shifted next to me, so he was sitting closer, and then he put his arm around my shoulder. He just kept it there and I wasn’t about to say anything! It was the first time a guy has ever put his arm around me!

He walked me to my apartment complex gate and I would have let him walk me up the stairs to my actual door but J was waiting and I didn’t want to get on his bad side, since he was the one who could make or break us having more dates. So I just said thanks for everything and good night and that was that.

And this weekend, I’m going to his house to watch that Hitchcock movie. And hopefully by then I will have learned the mystery of the pregnancy test.

The Pitter Patter of Little Thoughts

I’ve got babies on my mind. Or the possibility of babies, at least. I have been watching Lucie carefully for signs she might be pregnant.

Early morning bathroom run: nausea?

No breakfast: skipping caffeine?

Mood swings: hormone shifts?

I really have no idea what the signs are that someone is pregnant, other than the obvious ones and of course, when the person actually says, hey, I’m pregnant. But another week has gone by and I don’t have any information at all. And as far as I know, Lucie hasn’t gone to the doctor or anything.

Should I ask her?

I can’t imagine what she must be going through if she is pregnant. Is she thinking about not having it, about giving it away, about getting married? And what would that do to us? I guess it could be cool to have a baby around but I think I would get stuck babysitting all the time so she could go out with Aaron. Or would Aaron move in? Or would we move in with Aaron? Sorry to say, Aaron, I’m only 14 so I kind of have to go where my sister goes, you know? Poor guy would get the sis and the baby.

I have to find out. I don’t think I can just wait.